I don’t think Christmas 2020 was the way any of us had expected or planned.

We were supposed to be in Sweden, celebrating with my family. Instead, we’re in not quite lockdown, but not quite normal life either. Indoor gatherings are banned, but we were allowed to meet family indoors for one day (Christmas Day). So, rather than a trip to Sweden, we took a ten-minute car trip to my partner’s parents’ house.

It was still a lovely day, and the tiny tyrant has had so much fun and been very spoiled with all the presents. To the point where we are currently overwhelmed with new toys littered throughout the living room until I can do a purge of some old ones to find them some space.

Even while enjoying ourselves, I think there was a shadow hanging over the day. It’s almost impossible for there not to be. We were meant to be somewhere else. The world was meant to be different. This wasn’t meant to happen. When I read or watch news about the pandemic, it still feels surreal at times; that this is the world we live in now. It reminds me of the flashes of “old news footage” you see in dystopian or horror movies of how the world ended. Only it’s happening now. Here. In the real world. Our world.

Some days I can somewhat ignore it, other days it hits me and it makes my mood plummet. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen my family, and I have no idea when I will be able to see them. It’s hard.

How was everyone else’s Christmas?