Hello? Anyone out there?

Melancholy Mummy Posted on by

So… I sort of vanished from the face of the earth (read: blog) there for a bit. Oops? I didn’t mean to, but I was hit fairly hard with a bit of a depression and it took me a bit of time to dig myself out of that hole. Some things I still managed to do (a fair bit of writing), but other things sort of fell by the wayside. This blog being one of them. I’d like to keep writing here though, it’s my own private corner of the web. I have an author site, but I try to keep that semi-professional, so this is where I can just be me and whine as much as I like. Or be as weird as I like. You know… all the fun things in life.

So, what’s happened so far this year, since the last time I wrote was… apparently in January. Let’s just make a list…

PitMad/Querying

The full request I had ended up being a rejection, which I was kind of expecting. I’m still pretty happy having had a full request at all, so I still count it as a win. I’ve sent out a handful of other queries, one of which was a full request from an online publisher. It came back as a rejection, but with a revise and resubmit if I make certain changes/improvements. I’m still debating whether I want to try resubmitting after making some of those changes. I’ve not done PitMad again since. I think after these rejections, there are a few things I need to revise in the book before I feel like it’s worthy of another round (or even self-publishing).

Writing

I’m behind on my yearly goal of hitting 240k words for 2021, but I’m not doing terribly, and should at least easily beat my 2020 number. I’m currently at 94k for the year. I have too many ideas currently and I’m struggling to prioritise. There are stories I want to expand and revise, others that need edits, and new stories that demand to be written. I need a lot more free hours in the day…

I entered Wattpad’s Open Novella Contest and made it to the Longlist with an entry titled Cupid Falling. For being my first ever contemporary, written in first person, I think that result is pretty decent. I started another two novellas for the contest, but with time constraints I had to abandon them. I’m currently trying to finish one, while I will eventually go back to the other, which will likely turn into a novel.

I want to start the rewrite of my Fantasy Romance: Bowstrings & Velvet, but I also need to write the next book in the Spellbound series. And the third book in the Howerty series (my current WIP), and finish the novella. As if that’s not enough, I’m being pestered with ideas for a paranormal romance that won’t leave me alone.

Other

We sadly lost my grandmother in February, and it was devastating. She was such a large part of my life, and lockdowns and the pandemic making it impossible for me to go home to see her to say goodbye, or even attend the funeral was hard. It definitely didn’t help my depression. She was the one I used to talk to when I felt down, so losing her felt extra difficult at the time. (Though I can’t imagine it would ever be easy.) She was my extra mum. My rock. I still can’t even write about it without tearing up.

Yesterday, I finally booked a flight back home for July. I’m both excited and terrified. The pandemic is still going on, even if the numbers are “decent-ish” at the moment. But there’s the new “Delta Variant” to worry about, as numbers are rising again. I can only hope it will still be “relatively safe” to fly in July and that we’re not plunged into another lockdown and all flights cancelled. I haven’t seen my family back home since November 2019 now, and that’s a long time. The last time they saw the Tiny Tyrant she was just over 1,5 years old, and now she’s over 3. That’s a huge difference at that age.

I feel like more must have happened since January, but nothing comes to mind. Oh, the Tiny Tyrant has started preschool a few hours as week. She hated it at first, but is finally starting to enjoy it. It gives me a little bit of free time to try to get some stuff done. (Like writing blog posts!)

PitMad Update

Melancholy Mummy Posted on by

I realised I forgot to write an update on how things went with my query after PitMad. After sending my query to the literary agent, I got a response within a few hours for the full manuscript!

I still can’t believe it! While I’m not having high hopes of it going any further than this, I’m so excited that I even made it this far. My story premise was interesting enough to request the full book – that’s something! I’ve sent the full manuscript to her, but from what I understand the wait for a reply to that can be months, so I’m just sitting tight now.

Even if it’s a no (which I’m expecting), I still consider my first ever PitMad event a success. This was way more than I ever expected and I’m stoked.

Now, I just need to perfect those manuscripts to be able to actually land an agent. Or potentially self-publish. Another possibility.

Happy New Year

Melancholy Mummy Posted on by

It’s a new dawn. It’s a new day. It’s a new year.

Will 2021 be better than 2020? I sincerely hope so, but I have my doubts. Here in England, we’re in something very akin to lockdown (again) as our cases are rising rapidly with a new strain of the virus. Different areas are in different tiers, but most are in tier 4, which we were put into on New Year’s Eve in my area. It’s basically a “stay at home”-order, with all non-essential retail closed, limit public transport, work from home if possible. Only leave home to work, exercise or go food shopping. I feel like it will be harder this time of year compared to spring when we could spend time in the garden without freezing our socks off.

In any case: Happy New Year!

2020 did have some positive things; I got back into writing! And I found a wonderful group of fellow writers that I chat with daily on Discord. Having found that makes writing a lot easier somehow. It’s amazing to be able to speak to others and compare notes. I never had that in the past, and it’s helped me immensely.

So, what did I accomplish in 2020, writing wise?

I wrote around 140k words and edited a further 100k. That’s not a lot for a lot of writers out there, but it is for me as someone with chronic fatigue. I’d love to find ways for me to increase my throughput, and I will work on that in 2021.

What are my writing plans for 2021?

I want to increase how much writing I get done. Ideally, I want to push 20k a month. It should be doable as long as I can reliably sit down and write every day. I also want to edit and rewrite the first books of my Spellbound series and then publish them on Amazon. I’m hoping I can do this alongside the writing without losing too much writing time.

Other plans for 2021…

I am hoping (very very much) that we will get to a point where it’s safe (or relatively safe) to travel again so I can see my family. It’s now been over a year, and it sucks.

What are your plans for 2021? Whether for writing or other things?

A Different Kind of Christmas

Melancholy Mummy Posted on by

I don’t think Christmas 2020 was the way any of us had expected or planned.

We were supposed to be in Sweden, celebrating with my family. Instead, we’re in not quite lockdown, but not quite normal life either. Indoor gatherings are banned, but we were allowed to meet family indoors for one day (Christmas Day). So, rather than a trip to Sweden, we took a ten-minute car trip to my partner’s parents’ house.

It was still a lovely day, and the tiny tyrant has had so much fun and been very spoiled with all the presents. To the point where we are currently overwhelmed with new toys littered throughout the living room until I can do a purge of some old ones to find them some space.

Even while enjoying ourselves, I think there was a shadow hanging over the day. It’s almost impossible for there not to be. We were meant to be somewhere else. The world was meant to be different. This wasn’t meant to happen. When I read or watch news about the pandemic, it still feels surreal at times; that this is the world we live in now. It reminds me of the flashes of “old news footage” you see in dystopian or horror movies of how the world ended. Only it’s happening now. Here. In the real world. Our world.

Some days I can somewhat ignore it, other days it hits me and it makes my mood plummet. It’s been over a year since I’ve seen my family, and I have no idea when I will be able to see them. It’s hard.

How was everyone else’s Christmas?

A Whinge

Melancholy Mummy Posted on by

I don’t know if it’s the light depression from the pandemic and lack of seeing other people and missing my family or just a bad time for my CFS… but I’m so tired lately. I’m having a hard time doing anything, and I feel like our home is falling to pieces around us.

There is so much I wanted to do for Christmas; baking and more decorations, cooking the yummy things I miss from Sweden and whatnot… but I’m struggling to even keep up with basic housework like dishes, hoovering and tidying up after the tiny tyrant. Honestly, how much of a mess can one small child make? (A lot.) I don’t know why she’s adamant everything has to be on the floor…

This is what I hate the most. I can handle the fibromyalgia pain okay (I’m aware mine isn’t as bad as some), but this lack of energy destroys me. I hate a messy house, and I can never keep up, always playing catch-up, and never get the chance to do any of the extra stuff that also needs doing. The time is there, the energy just isn’t. (Though there are some things that I can’t do with the tiny tyrant around. She may think she’s helping, but I think we can all agree that toddlers helping is anything but helpful.)

I apologise for this post. I’m really just having a whinge. I get so tired of myself and my inability to get past the tiredness to get what needs to be done… well, done.

Okay, I think I’m finished whinging for this time. I’d say I won’t do it again, but I suspect I will… We all need a good whinge now and again!

What would you like to whinge about? The state of the world? Your messy home? (Please tell me I’m not alone.)

Holiday Feels

Melancholy Mummy Posted on by

I thought I’d bring some holiday feeling to my books on Wattpad, so I changed their covers for the season. What do you think?

PitMad

Melancholy Mummy Posted on by

There’s a quarterly event on Twitter called PitMad, where hopeful writers such as myself can throw their book pitches out into the void in the hopes of catching a like. Basically, some agents and sometimes publishers will look through the feed, and if you’re lucky enough they might come across yours in the sea of pitches. If they then hit LIKE, it’s an invitation to query them.

I entered the December PitMad on a whim.

I’ll be honest. I was not prepared.

It was my first ever PitMad, and I’m excited to say that I ended up with three likes: 2 agents and 1 publisher.

I’m hoping to query one of those. Unfortunately, I’m flailing because, as mentioned above, I am not prepared. I’m trying to quickly throw together a query letter and synopsis. I have old ones from when I first wrote the book, years ago, but couldn’t find the synopsis and the query letter was pretty terrible. I find both of these things incredibly difficult to write… So I may not be able to in time. But if nothing else, I’m excited that someone liked my pitches. And maybe kicking myself a little for entering PitMad before being fully ready. I should have made sure I had a query and synopsis and THEN entered PitMad.

Hindsight is 20/20.

I wrote three different pitches for PitMad:

After finding a devilishly handsome marquess sleeping in her bed, Angelique Grafton is torn between fulfilling her late parents’ wish for an arranged marriage, and her own desire.

Angel has:
– An intended fiancé
– An evil cousin who hates her
– A brother who can’t explain the birds and the bees without fleeing
And a handsome marquess in her bed, who is NOT the intended fiancé.

Painfully shy debutante Angel is already resigned to an arranged marriage when she finds a devilishly handsome marquess sleeping in her bed. She has to choose between fulfilling her late parents’ wish, or her own.

The top one had two agent likes, and the middle one had a publisher like it. Sadly, the publisher’s submission guidelines don’t match my story. (Their word count limit would mean I’d have to remove 1/3 of the story, which is a lot.) The third one didn’t get any likes, but was also sent out towards the end of the 12-hour window when things seem to have slowed down a lot.

Has anyone else ever tried PitMad or anything similar?

The Owl Sticker

Melancholy Mummy Posted on by

The tiny tyrant was given some stickers by her nonna recently. Apparently, she had stashed a couple somewhere in the flat without me realising, and one morning came running up to me:

“Mummy! Owl in my nose!!”

I look inside her nose, and sure enough – there’s a bloody sticker stuck up there! Wedged good and well. I tried getting it out with a few tricks, including the “Mother’s Kiss” maneuver. (Which nearly got it! But then she inhaled it again and it ended up even further in!) In the end, I ended up having to call 111 to ask what we should do. They called us back a few hours later and said to take her to A&E. So off we went.

At A&E she was being really good, letting Dr Will check her nose. But when Dr Will brought out the little tiny hoover they use to suck things out of the noses of tiny tyrants, she wasn’t quite so compliant anymore. We had to wrap her snugly in a blanket and I had to hold her down as she was screaming and crying at the top of her lungs. Harrowing experience, I’ll tell you now. Despite his best efforts, Dr Will couldn’t get the persistent little owl sticker out. Because the tyrant was so upset, she kept inhaling it again as soon as he moved it.

An agreement was reached that we’d go home and return the next day for another attempt. If the attempt failed she would have to be put under general anesthetic to get it out. All for a bloody sticker the size of my nail!

The next morning I checked her nose and thought I saw it. (By the time we left the hospital the previous evening it was so far up her nose you could only glimpse it in certain angles when shining a light.) Once in the hospital we are met by a surgical team, ready to intervene. But a last attempt at getting it out manually is to be made.

What happens?

The doctor looks and looks… and cannot find the sticker!

Most likely she inhaled completely in the end and it ended up in her tummy. There’s a small chance/risk it’s still in there, but so far in we can’t see it (she is itching her nose a bit now and then). If we notice discharge or a weird smell from her nose we’re meant to go back.

So… That was our adventure with the owl sticker. I never want to see another owl sticker in my life.

Current WIPs

Melancholy Mummy Posted on by

I have a few works in progress currently, with a plan of releasing the first few of a series of shorter novels next year. I’m hoping that it will spur me on to keep writing. To get there, I still have a fair bit of work to do though, and I thought I’d make a list here. If nothing else, it will make it a bit easier for myself to get an overview of where I’m at!

The Howertys

Genre: Historical Romance (Regency)
Planned: A series of four books, all stand-alone, but connected by all being about the same family. Hoping to publish the first book in 2021.
Status:

Book 1: A Midsummer Night’s Kiss

Written. ~95-100k
Will need a proper edit before publication.

Book 2: Kissing the Rake

Written. ~95k
Needs full edit/proofread.

Book 3 & 4 are yet to be written, but they have a basic plot, the third also semi-plotted.

The Spellbound Series

Genre: Fantasy Romance
Planned: A series of X number of books all set in the same fantasy world, each with its own love story. Sort of stand-alone, but beneficial to read in order due to overarching plot spanning the series.
Status:

Prequel: Shadows & Lace

Written, but needs to be extended and edited/proofread. New scenes/additional details. (Currently 33k)

Book 1: Bowstrings & Velvet

Written, but is having a rather large rewrite, adding dual POV (from single) and extending with several new scenes. (Currently 33k)

Book 2: Damask & Deception

In progress, nearly finished. Will hopefully only need editing/proofreading. (Currently 56k)

Book 3: Silk & Steel

In progress, but on hold since I can only write one at a time. (Currently 21k)

Book 4 onwards: Ideas only so far. I will most likely switch the order slightly, making D&D book 3 or 4 and Silk & Steel a little further down the line as well.

I’m really excited about both of my series, and I really hope I can find the time and energy to pull this together and actually publish something next year. I’d like to try to release the first four or so Spellbound books on a somewhat regular schedule, hopefully giving myself time to prepare more stories while doing that. It’s why I want to have a few of them ready before I start releasing. I also want to release the first Howerty novel next year. So a lot to do to get ready. Wish me luck!

Lockdown 2.0

Melancholy Mummy Posted on by

As of yesterday, Thursday 5 November, England is in lockdown again due to rising numbers of the Coronavirus. I’m kicking myself for not taking the chance to visit my family in Sweden in August when the cases were relatively low. I doubt I will see them for quite a few more months now, and it’s already been a year since I last did. It makes me sad since they miss out on a lot not seeing the tiny tyrant for such a long time.

The lockdown is meant to last for four weeks, but I’m not convinced it won’t continue longer than that. I’m not sure how I feel about it, if I’m honest. I know it’s needed, but I hate not being able to see family and friends. It’s not as severe as the first part of the last lockdown when there was no seeing anyone anywhere. At least we’re allowed to see one person outdoors. But that’s it. Two people total, you and one other person. And with winter approaching, outdoor meetings aren’t always ideal.

It also means having to entertain the tiny tyrant without meeting up with her friends. We can meet one set of friends now and then, as preschoolers don’t count. So I and one other parent can meet up outside with our young children. Which is a blessing, really. As much as I wish they had kept the rule where six people were allowed to meet outdoors, I’m happy that at least we can see someone.

Everything about this pandemic depresses me though. Some days I feel like it’s the end of life as we know it. Some days I think it will be the thing that kills me. Some days I think I will never again see my family.

My mind likes to paint up the worst case scenarios, and it’s up to me to tear them down. But when something like this happens, it’s difficult to find the ability to do so. Because things do look dark, and every day you read news that are far from positive. (I should probably stop reading the news.)

Writing helps. It allows me to focus on something else. Binging Netflix does too. And hugs from the tiny tyrant.

What helps you get through this pandemic?